


More than Home

by humongousgay



Category: Night In The Woods (Video Game)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Dissociation, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25284913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humongousgay/pseuds/humongousgay
Summary: Gregg and Angus depart from Possum Springs. Mae tries to cheer up by hanging out with Bea, unexpected events occur.This fic is very gay and also very self indulgent, cliche and probably super cheesy. Regardless, I enjoyed writing this a whole bunch so hopefully y'all enjoy it tooUt features some mental health stuff, so if you're sensitive to that here is your warning!This is my first *proper* fic, rather than just some short writings here and there. once again I hope you enjoy c:
Relationships: Mae Borowski & Bea Santello, Mae Borowski/Bea Santello
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	More than Home

**Author's Note:**

> Throughout the text, you'll see two symbols pop up every now and then. An ankh, and an eye. This is to signify the change of perspective, or a shift to wherever the character associated with the symbol is currently at. You can probably assume which symbol is for which character, ankh for Bea, and the eye for Mae.

☥

Bea fumbled with her keys, eventually finding the correct one to open the door to her apartment building. Mae stood at the bottom of the hill, staring up at Bea. They had just finished helping Gregg and Angus pack for Bright Harbour and were headed home for the night. As Bea got the door open, the warm, orange light of the stairwell illuminating the front half of her figure, Mae waved in the darkness and called out. “See ya, Beabea!”

“Bye, Mae.”

Although Bea didn’t see it - and couldn’t have seen it, due to the blackness of their surroundings - Mae’s face crumpled into one of disappointment for a second, before she ran off to her part of the street.

Bea ascended the stairs and unlocked the door to her apartment, opening it slowly. The decor and layout of her apartment had become somehow even more painfully familiar to her in the past months. The brick red walls, clashing with the bright white of the kitchen. The singular lamp that hung over the kitchen table. Chips in the wall paint like tally marks on a prison wall. Essentially, that’s what this apartment was, that’s what this whole damn town was. Bea’s prison. A constant reminder of what her life seemed to have already been planned out to be. To rot in Possum Springs, with not even a smidgen of opportunity. She loathed what it represented. The death of her mother and the contract-esque signing of Bea’s future to this shitty town. It was bleeding her. Bea took a deep breath, breathed out, and walked in. Her father was sitting on the couch, watching a Smelters football game. He turned around and spoke softly. “Hey, Bea.”

“Hey, dad.”

“What’d you do today?” Recently, Mr. Santello had started to make small efforts to try and be more invested in his daughter's life.

“Helped Gregg and Angus move.”

“Who?”

“Gregg and Angus? The couple? Bear and dog.”

“Ah, yes. Say, why don’t you come watch the Smelters play with me? They’re on fire tonight. 7-2!”

“I’m really tired from moving, it was a big job.”

“Just for a bit?”

“Next game, dad. I’m exhausted.”

“Hrmph.”

In reality, Bea was only slightly tired, but her thoughts were too wild to spend time - or even pretend to spend time - with her father. Bea silently walked into her room, threw her keys on her dresser and sat down on the bed. After moments of quiet reflection, she stood up and got changed into more appropriate sleeping clothes, an oversized shirt and some shorts. Assuming the same sitting position as a few moments ago, Bea began to reflect on her day. God, what was it about Mae that captured her attention so much? Throughout the day, Bea had caught herself staring at the feline, day-dreaming. It happened during the move, even when they went to Taco Buck for a quick bite after. It had an iron grip on her mind that wouldn’t release. Why hadn’t it been happening the whole time Mae returned to Possum Springs, having only started a few months ago?

Bea’s mind was a whirlpool of thoughts, raging and unforgiving, she couldn’t make any sense of it. As much as she didn’t want to give in to the Dr. Hank in her head telling her to make a journal, Bea stood up, opened her dresser and pulled out a small blue notebook. Maybe the incompetence of Dr. Hank's mental health methods would help, somehow. Retrieving a black pen from atop the dresser, Bea sat down and began to try and write down her thoughts. She struggled initially to write anything down, but soon got the hang of it.

Eventually, she came to a conclusion. She let it marinate in her mind for a few minutes, let it set in. The conclusion had barely even set in when Bea picked her laptop up off the floor, opened it up and opened the browser. Her hands hovered above the keyboard, ready to type but no motions being made.

…

Bea took a small, shallow breath and began to type in the search bar.

How to know if you're Bisexual

Bea clicked on the first result, what appeared to be some test of sorts.

She hadn’t even read the first question when the doubt vanished from her mind. She didn’t even need to complete this stupid test, it was irrelevant at this point. But her finger still touched the trackpad and moved the cursor to make an answer. Bea’s cursor hovered over the unfilled multiple choice bubble, prepared to answer.

Bea suddenly closed her laptop. This test didn’t know her, what good would it do her? She already knew the conclusion she came to. No amount of bullshit internet tests would provide any more clarity than she had already.

She’d fallen in love with Mae. God.

Bea placed her hand on her head, perhaps in some sort of attempt to quell the incessant thoughts swirling through her brain.

What would Mae think if she told her? When Mae first arrived in Possum Springs their friendship was extremely rocky, but regardless, they had managed to make things work and capture that closeness they used to have. This would add a new, additional layer of awkwardness that couldn’t be cut through like the last. There, that’s why she was afraid of the feelings. For a second, Bea felt relieved at finding a bit more coherence in the situation, but her thoughts quickly descended back into turmoil. Bea even knew for a fact that Mae was more than open to dating women, but this was different.

Underneath the covers, head on pillow, Bea thought. She thought about Mae. No outing or activity that involved Mae in particular, just the concept of Mae. The existence of Mae, perhaps in some sort of attempt to convince this bastard universe to send signals to the cat. In her tired mind, Bea realised when Mae had said goodbye that night, they called her “Beabea,” and she didn’t call them “Maedae” in return. Bea whispered a reprimand to herself for missing that and soon fell asleep, slightly physically tired, but mentally exhausted.

~~~~~

👁

Mae’s eyes creaked open. She rolled a couple times in her bed, reluctant to wake up. The morning sun shone bright yellow rays across her bedroom which illuminated her face. Realising that her sleep was unable to be salvaged, Mae slowly gathered the motivation necessary to sit up and stretch. She had awoken with a headache, one small enough that it could be shrugged off, however. Mae pulled her laptop from beneath the futon and cracked it open, being slightly blinded by the high brightness setting from it’s last use. Gregg and Bea had both messaged her. Mae maneuvered the pizza cursor over Gregg’s icon.

\-------------------------------------------

\- hey dood

hey man -

\- band practice 2day before me and angus hit the  
road

oh sweet ill be there -

\- u better be or else

ill bring tissues -

\- wont need em. remember all the cool shit we did  
when u came back

hell yeah i do. that animatronic was so cool -

\- smashing those lightbulbs was awesome 2

oh yeaaah. ive got the best baseball swing -  
around, no competition

\- still managed to hit you with those bottles a  
gazillion times

man that was foul play. i got bruises you know -

\- hahahahahahahahaha

gonna put your name down on the hospital -  
statements

i say its getting even considering u got me -  
attacked by an owl

irrelevant. prepare to have your bank account -  
plundered greggory

\- haha whatever dude. see u at band practice

\-------------------------------------------

Mae sat motionless for a moment, thinking what she and Gregg had gotten up to when she came back home. Good times, and certainly times that would be committed to memory for a while. Having reminisced, Mae hovered the cursor over Bea’s icon and hesitated for a second, before opening her message. Mae’s tummy lurched slightly with nerves as the message opened.

\-------------------------------------------

\- Hey Mae. I won’t be opening the Pickaxe today.  
Gregg tells me we’re gonna have a final band  
practice, see you there.

\-------------------------------------------

Once again, Mae sat motionless in thought, but for a different reason. Mae had been feeling different about Bea ever since they sat on that bench together, staring into the foggy depths of the Red Winder. It had made Mae feel safe, a soft warmth deep in her core that she struggled to describe with words. It was like Bea just made everything okay for Mae. The fact that they had reconnected despite their previous falling out long ago brought joy to the cat, but she felt herself yearning for more.

Mae found herself having conjured a mental image of Bea while she thought, which she quickly started admiring. She took Mae’s breath away as if they’d just been kneed in the gut. Her sharp eye makeup, wings of eyeliner as majestic as an eagle’s, the large navy scales that climbed the rear of her head. Her piercing eyes, brilliant pockets of tone as blue as the ocean. Mae lost herself in those eyes as if they were an actual ocean and she had been thrown overboard. The neat, tidy black lipstick that adorned her mouth, something which Mae intensely longed to plant a kiss upon.

…

God, I’m pathetic.

Mae shut the laptop with force, hopped off her futon and retrieved her boots from the side of the bed. She had owned these boots for who knows how long, but even in their worn out, torn state, the trusty little green shoes served her well. Mae slipped them on with relative difficulty, stood up and hopped downstairs.

Candy was waiting for Mae to rear her head in the same spot as always. As Mae turned the corner and came towards the kitchen, Candy’s eyes lit up slightly. With a quiet, strained hup! Mae secured herself on top of the kitchen counter. “Morning, mom.”

“Good morning, sweetie. You look a little worn.”

Mae’s notched ear twitched. “Yeah, just got a lot on my mind right now.”

Candy’s eyebrow raised inquisitively. “What’s wrong, hon?”

“Oh, nothing. Just stuff.”

“Is it the stuff from eight months ago?”

“Not that I know of. It’s just... stuff, mom. It’s alright.”

Candy furrowed her brow. “You’re always such a tough nut to crack with these things. You know, you can tell your mother what’s troubling you. Remember, as long as you still walk on Possum Springs soil, you’re still...”

Mae rolled her eyes, finishing Candy’s sentence. “My baby.”

Candy smirked. “That’s right. Don't forget it!”

Mae began to get irritated, but only outwardly displayed a sternness. “Mom. It’s okay, alright?”

“Well, it’s not if it’s troubling you right?”

“It’s just… stuff with Bea! Okay!? It’s fine!”

Candy donned a small relieved grin and shook her head. “Oh, come on, you can absolutely speak to me about that stuff! Friendship issues aren’t anything to hide.”

Mae froze for a second, but decided to roll with it. “Uh… yeah. Friendship issues, stuff’s just, uh, t-tense? Yeah, tense.”

Candy seemed to take no notice of Mae's hesitations. “Alright, well I hope things loosen up a bit soon, sweetie.”

Mae wiped a couple droplets of sweat from her brow. “Mhm. I’m heading out, bye mom.”

“Love you, sweetie!”

“Love you too, mom.”

Mae ran out the door quicker than usual, as to avoid even a second more of awkward silence after that exchange. The muggy summer air wafted over Mae like a blanket, immediately warming her up to a degree that was slightly uncomfortable. The leaves on the trees were a brilliant, rich green and rustled gently as fast breezes passed through them. Packs of white clouds covered the sky with few cracks for the sun to peek through. The winds were brisk today. People in vehicles drove along the road, fumes plenty. Kids were out playing, running to and fro and savouring the summer weather. Mae was much less than a fan. The summer months just meant more sweat and discomfort, as she refused to change her wardrobe style to more comfortable options. Quickly, she ran off and up the hill, down to Towne Centre, desperate to leave the summer heat.

The door to the Party Barn creaked as usual, refusing to budge. Mae gave it a few kicks, the door finally giving way. Gregg, Angus and Bea were already present, ready to perform. As always, Mae was the late one. Germ was present as well, having sat down on a small milk crate awaiting the performance. Gregg smiled ear-to-ear as Mae walked in. “Mae’s here!”

He turned slightly to face everybody. “We’re gonna run through Die, Autumn and Pumpkin for our final practice.”

“Woo. Three songs this time.” Germ called out.

Mae slipped the bass strap over her shoulder and hit the lowest string, emitting a low rumble. “And guess what! I’ve actually taken some initiative and learnt the songs, so we won’t sound like crap this time!”

Bea opened her laptop. “Wow, imagine that.”

No more words were exchanged, the four simply got into position and began their jam. Mae fell into the zone quickly, not missing a single note and staying on time. Every now and then, she’d lift her eyes and gaze at the other three people surrounding her. Every time she observed, a certain feeling erupted within her. It was like a poignant joy. Mae felt grateful to be sharing a final practice with Gregg and Angus, but the realisation that it would soon be over stung. Visiting was always an option, sure, but it would never truly be the same as the two residing here. Mae could feel tears welling up behind her eyes, but she pushed them back and took in the practice. From the first note of Die Anywhere Else to the final note of Pumpkin Head Guy, Mae had felt truly content.

Gregg exhaled loudly, Mae wiped sweat away with her sleeve. Angus coughed and cleared his throat, attempting to act as though he wasn’t as out of breath as he was. Even though her role was less physically demanding than the rest, Bea’s face had flushed a dark shade of teal and her forehead was slightly beaded with perspiration. Mae impulsively threw her bass off of her shoulder, the stringed instrument clattering to the floor. She paid no mind to this, however. “Whew! My wrist has been reduced to dust, but that was awesome!” Mae swiveled and stared at Germ. “What did ya think?”

Germ had a minuscule smile, contrast to his usual deadpan look. “Better than previous times. No longer ‘Eh.’ Good job!”

Bea shut her laptop. “Yeah, we sounded pretty good, actually. You kind of killed it, Mae.”

Mae smiled warmly, but before she could return the compliment, Gregg jumped in, flailing his arms. “That was awesome! We should totally, like, send each other audio files so we can keep the band together!”

Angus raised his brow. “Are you sure we wouldn’t get noise complaints?”

Gregg let his arms down, however still triumphant. “Who cares! It’s our apartment!”

“I just don’t wanna get evicted, bug.”

“We can keep it down, it’ll be fine, trust me! What do you guys think?” Gregg turned to Mae and Bea, who had both sat down on the stage next to each other.

Bea unconsciously gnawed on the end of an unlit cigarette. “I mean, if Possum Springs’ crap wifi will even allow us to, then I guess we could throw something together.” Mae hummed in agreement. Gregg’s arms flew back up once again. “It’s gonna be so cool! We’ll be, like, an internet band! Maybe we could host online shows or something?!”

Mae laughed. “And how exactly would we do that?”

Gregg lost not one bit of steam, continuing to flail. “I don’t know! But it’ll be awesome probably!”

Angus peered at his watch. “I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but we should probably get going, Gregg.”

Gregg threw his arms back down.

Gregg unplugged all of his guitar gear and walked to the moving truck he and Angus had hired, the other three following closely behind. It was a cheap, rickety old thing, with an exhaust that sputtered constantly and a cargo bay held closed with a chain and padlock. With the gear loaded, Gregg prepared to hop into the cab, but Mae interrupted. “Wait, before you guys hit the road, and I know this isn’t something we’ve really done before.” Mae raised her arms and stood back to face the whole group.

“But how about a final group hug?”

Gregg smiled and hopped down from the cab. “Aww, sure thing, dude.”

Angus lowered himself slowly from the cab as well. Bea shook her head and snorted softly. “Such a dork, Mae.”

Mae donned a smug tone. “Yes. Yes I am.”

Mae threw her arms around Gregg and Angus, beckoning Bea with a nod to join in on the embrace. The four hugged it out for what felt like hours, but was only a minute or so. Once again, even though Gregg and Angus promised extensive communication after they left, Mae found herself once again feeling slightly crushed. Having sufficiently choked back a few stray tears as silently as possible, Gregg and Angus gave their final goodbyes and began their journey to Bright Harbour.

Bea retrieved a lighter from her pocket and lit up a cigarette, the pungent odour of smoke immediately hitting Mae. She sidled up to the visibly pained cat. Mae was not good at hiding these things. The croc wrapped an arm around her. “It’s okay. This won’t be the last time you see them.”

Mae sniffed, her notched ear twitching again. “I know, it’s just, change is difficult, and I’ve never been a fan of it. It sucks! It sucks forever! Why can’t things just stay as they were? They were so much cooler then.”

Bea took a short puff, exhaling through her mouth in the opposite direction of Mae. “Yeah, why can’t we just go back to living in caves and hunting dinosaurs. Those were the days. Yup."

Mae raised her arms. “You know that’s not what I meant!” She paused, letting her arms fall. “Honestly, though, I wouldn't mind it. Dinosaurs are the best.”

Bea tapped on her cigarette with her index finger, the charred ashes falling and being carried away by the breeze before they could hit the ground. Mae went silent for a moment, sighed loudly and took a small step closer towards Bea. “Can we go for a drive, or something? Maybe, like, get something to eat? I don’t like the vibe that’s in the air right now. It mocks me.”

Bea’s face scrunched. “I can’t, Mae. I’ve got budgeting work to do for the shop.”

“Aw, not even just for a bit?”

Bea huffed. “I… alright, fine. I guess it can wait. Maybe I'll get Germ to do it, or something. Is he good with numbers?”

~~~~~

Mae was delighted that Bea would take her out, but a thought crept up in the back of her mind. A thought that refused to stay silent, even as she lay her face on the window of Bea’s vehicle, watching the street lights and night sky pass by, peppered with stars. Why was she so reluctant to go if the budgeting work could be postponed? Mae’s eyes shifted forward and observed the highway that stretched in front of them. The clouds that rested above were grey and full. White line after white line passed beneath the car, and Mae imagined that the car was consuming them, rather than merely passing below. It was an attempt to take her mind off of the worries that plagued it currently, but to no avail. Clearly, Bea wanted nothing to do with Mae and just agreed to take Mae out to get her out of her hair. Mae was a useless, annoying burden that Bea was currently hanging out with out of mere pity, it was obvious.

“Hey, Mae.”

Mae’s head jerked off of the window. She tried to make eye contact with Bea, but had to just settle for a sideward glance instead. She wasn’t sure why she was unable to make eye contact, frankly she wanted to. Mae felt a jitter in her lower core. Bea’s dazzling eyes were but a blur in Mae’s peripheral vision. Bea tapped an irregular rhythm on the steering wheel with one finger, the cigarette in her mouth close to a stub. “I thought we could go to that barbecue place we found a while back. You seemed to enjoy it. You remember all that construction that was around it?”

Mae hummed in affirmation.

“Well, that was expansion work, it’s like a whole food court now instead of just the combination restaurant. Tons of options, can check out the whole place if you want to. The barbecue place got a shit-ton of renovation too. ”

Expansion. Renovation. Mae felt slightly anxious at the thought of it. She grinned slightly, despite her inner monologue. “Okay, yeah.”

Mae was determined to try and let this outing cheer her up. This was at the expense of Bea’s work.

Bea pulled into the parking lot, the parking brake gears churning as she yanked the lever. The expanded food court loomed ahead, looking almost intimidatingly large. Bright neon lights adorned the outside, neon signs bore the names of the restaurants inside, enticing those who passed by the complex from the highway. Bea opened the door and stepped out, leaning on the bonnet of the car. Mae followed suit, sitting on top of the bonnet. Bea took a final puff of her cigarette, exhaling the smoke and plucking the stub from out of her mouth. Stomping it out with her boot, she got up off of the front of the car. “Well? Let’s go in.”

Mae hopped off and trailed beside Bea. As the automatic doors opened before them, Mae took in the building. It was like a whole centre had been built around the barbecue place, which was now but one restaurant in a sea of many. Dozens of different options were on display, complete with a dining area in the middle. The food court seemed to stretch for a considerable distance, unnerving the cat just staring at it. Mae glanced up and read the sizable cloth banner that hung overhead. “‘New and improved!’ huh?” She read aloud.

Bea nodded. “Yeah, certainly looks it.”

Mae hummed. “I’ll say.”

Bea stepped forward. “Pick your poison, I guess. I’ve gotta go to the bathroom real quick, but I think I might get some Italian after.”

She turned and looked at Mae. “You sure you’ll be okay?”

Mae nodded. “Oh, it’s just a food court, Beatrice! I’ll be fine.”

Bea fetched a folded bill from her dress pocket. “Maybe God Stevenson will watch over you while I'm gone. Here’s a twenty, knock yourself out. Now to find this damn bathroom…”

Mae watched as Bea walked off, holding the twenty dollar bill close, before stuffing it in her pocket. She took a minute to observe the food court and survey her options. It all looked so new and unfamiliar, even the barbecue place was unable to be recognised. The choice was extensive. Burgers, pasta, burritos, salads, pizzas, the list went on. Mae was spoilt for choice, but decided to go with her gut and began walking to the barbecue restaurant. The barbecue place was about one hundred metres from the entrance, donning a fresh coat of paint, a logo revision and an interior overhaul. As soon as she stepped in, the smell of smoked meats, sizzling steaks and various herbs and spices hit her hard. It smelt fantastic, albeit slightly overwhelming. The smell was never this intense when they had gone previously. At least, not to Mae’s recollection. The line was fairly long, and the actual restaurant was positively full. People sat down in the booths with their meals, others waiting by the counter for their takeaway order. Two cashiers were present behind the counter. The sounds of chattering from every person melted into a white noise that Mae could barely register as talking. The sizzling from the kitchen was hard to hear over the talking, but it could be heard. Mae approached the line and took her spot in it, seven people ahead of her and her ripped ear twitching madly. She looked up at the menu, a gallery of steaks, pork chops, sausages and whatever other meats there were, all cooked to perfection. Mae wondered if her dad could identify every single one.

Slowly, the line shifted person to person. Some took much longer than others to order. Mae periodically shot a glance at the menu to remember her order. She wasn’t too hungry, so she planned on just ordering a small burger. Although she didn’t take notice of it, the chattering that previously dominated the room, strangling out any other sounds had begun to quiet, soon beginning to distort slightly throughout her wait. Finally, after a good fifteen minutes, Mae stood at the front of the line. Mae clasped the folded cash in her pocket between two fingers and stepped up. The cashier stared at the computer in front of them, tapped a couple things, and looked at Mae. Their mouth opened to speak.

Nothing.

Mae scrunched her face in confusion, and asked the cashier to repeat what they said. Her words sounded distant and far off to her ears, echoing like she was inside an old train tunnel. She wasn't even sure if they were even hers. Mae turned to observe the patrons, realising that she was unable to hear any chatter from them whatsoever. She asked again. Her words further distorted into messes of static and echo, Mae barely able to make out what she had said. She asked one final time. The cashier’s voice was lost to her.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh no. Mae dipped her head down, holding it in her paws. Here. Of all places. Here.

The cashier lifted a brow in confusion, once again asking Mae if they could take her order. The cashier’s voice returned to Mae’s hearing, but not as a voice. The silence disappeared and a tirade of unnatural, hideous sounds exploded from within, sending a thump of pain in Mae’s head. Mae screamed, inadvertently drawing the attention of all the patrons in the restaurant. She swivelled to look at the people who were staring at her. Groups of shapes attacked Mae's peripheral vision, they were nothing. Just clumps of stuff. Monstrous stuff.

Monstrous existence. The phrase rang in Mae’s head. Not since the mine incident and a short time after the fact had she thought of it. Now, it embedded itself into her thought process and would not exit.

Mae’s head pounded like nothing else. She ran towards what she thought was the door but was another patron. Mae bumped into them and fell to the floor on her back. In front of her, half of the person’s figure had melted into a mess of light blue and yellow rectangles and ovals. The parts of them that weren’t shapes yet were fuzzed and blurred. The patron attempted to help Mae up. She hissed, scrambling to her feet and rushing towards what she guessed again as the door. Mae’s guess was correct.

The food court was an absolute disaster. Shapes everywhere, but nothing was truly there. The cloth banner that hung from the roof of the building had been reduced to white rectangles, though Mae didn’t register them as the cloth banner. Mae’s head pounded again. She had to get out. A scratched voice sang to her from no discernable direction.

Get out. You’ve fucked it up.

Mae staggered towards the automatic sliding doors, two wide navy blue squares and octagons. Another person stood in between Mae and the doors. As she lay her eyes on them, the scratched voice returned. Claw it. Swipe at it. Destroy it. Nothing but shapes.

Mae stopped in front of the mishmash of shapes. Dark green rhombuses, triangles and rectangles. They mocked her. The static sounds had ceased, but the silence was just as deafening. It can’t feel. It’s shapes. Nothing but shapes. End it.

Mae raised her arm and intended to swipe at the heap of nothing. The screeches of static and beeps erupted within Mae’s head again, causing her to yelp with pain once more. As much as she felt like she wanted to, Mae's arm would not hit.

“No! I’m… N-not again...”

The mess of shapes ran off, muttering something hurriedly to itself. As Mae continued her seemingly endless journey to get out, she bumped into something. Multiple grey ovals and hexagons lay in front of her, - trash cans - knocked over by Mae’s staggers. The clatter of metal to the floor was deafening, piercing her skull like nothing had so far. Mae attempted to grab a hold of herself as best she could, attempting to whisper things to herself to calm herself down. Homely things, things that reminded her of Possum Springs. Mae’s mouth hung open to speak, but nothing came out. She couldn’t even think about Possum Springs, any thought related to home would vanish into the now endless void of her mind. The noises vanished once more, leaving Mae to run with her senses impaired.

She was losing herself. Mae’s gait sped up as she got closer and closer to the door. What seemed like endless amounts of miniscule blue shapes lashed down from the sky. It had begun to rain. The doors separated and Mae stepped out into the parking lot. She began to run, bent over in pain. As Mae rushed through the lot towards the highway, the small blue shapes falling on her, a familiar tune cut through the silence like a sickle through a field.

☥

Bea was sitting in a booth, tapping her boot impatiently. The Italian restaurant was quite empty, but they still were taking a long time to prepare her meal. The smell of garlic and pasta taunted her, as if they were ghosts of what was soon to come. As Bea stared off into space, waiting for the fateful ring of the bell on the counter, a sharp metallic clatter rang out from the other end of the food court. Bea thought nothing of it, but when it occurred a second and third time, investigation was in order. Standing outside of the Italian place, Bea scanned the large area in front of her, taking notice of a figure quickly limping on the other side of the doors. They were bent over and bathed in the gaudy neon lights of the outside. Immediately, Bea froze and her stomach sank, anxiety flaring up inside. That’s Mae.

Bea had already paid for her meal, but Mae’s well-being took major, major precedent over some shitty food court Italian. She made a break for the automatic doors. The rain had started to fall heavier, going from sprinkling to just a bit more than sprinkling. Frantically, Bea stepped out and scoured the fairly full parking lot. Mae could be anywhere.

Bea called out, walking towards the entrance of the parking lot, facing the highway. “Mae! Mae!”

👁

What was that noise? Among the screeching, grating sound that had returned and continued to assault Mae’s ears, it was so clear… so clear…

Mae was too focused on trying to hold onto that sound, clear as day, when she tripped over something, falling face first into a litter of dark blue shapes. It was water, a puddle, but Mae didn’t know that. She didn’t feel anything when the water drenched her. Mae soon realised it wasn’t just her face that had gone numb. She couldn’t feel her arms from the elbows down, navy blue sticks of shapes that rippled and tore with every movement. Her knees had gone completely weak, and she was barely able to stand back up after tripping. The numbness was spreading, and a sick, dull pain eroded at her stomach. Mae kneeled and looked around her. Nothing was real, it had all sunk into worthless, hollow shapes. Ahead of her lay the highway, which she was barely able to identify as such. Only from the speeding clusters of rectangles and circles was she able to tell.

Jump into traffic.

Mae whimpered softly. The silence was back, and so was the voice.

Throw yourself in. You ruin everything. Give in.

Mae fell to the ground again. Kneeling was too physically demanding at this point, despite her best efforts to stay up. She began to crawl, desperate for respite from the rain. A roofed bus stop was nearby.

You drive everyone away. Gregg and Angus are gone. This is how you can fix it.

Mae crawled beneath the bus stop, shaking slightly. She began to sob.

You owe everyone this. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.

The silence was deafening, Mae’s head was pounding again, harder than ever. It felt like it was going to split open. She wanted it to split open. Maybe this hideous fucking racket and this hideous fucking pain would all dissolve and leak out if her head just broke open.

It didn’t matter, though. Whether or not Mae’s head was imminent to break meant nothing, it was out of her hands. Mae gathered what little strength she had left and pushed herself off of the ground. On the cold concrete she sat cross-legged, limbs floppy and limp, shivering. The shapes were getting closer, the silence was getting harder and harder to bear. It was only bound to get worse, this is how it always went. Getting worse and worse, everything she touched. It was just how she was.

Suddenly, the clear tone from prior rippled through Mae’s eardrums.

“Mae! Mae! Shit, are you okay?”

Mae could barely make out the words. Bea emerged from behind the shapes, slightly blurred. She wasn’t shapes, however, it was just Bea. Mae tried to answer, but all she could mumble was, “It again. I'm sorry.”

A remorseful look stretched across Bea’s face. She squatted down and gingerly laid a hand on Mae’s outstretched forearm. Mae’s arm jerked at the touch, causing Bea to draw away, but Mae’s soft grunt signalled for Bea to place her hand back. Bea’s touch slowly melted the numbness.

“Again.”

“What was again? Did it happen again?”

Bea snarled. “Fucking hell, I should’ve never left you on your own. I’m so sorry.”

“It's not your fault.”

“Uh, it was definitely my-”

Bea felt the need to debate it further, but quelled it. Now wasn't the time. Mae was silent and still for a few moments, before trying to stand back up. She fell again to the ground as the stings of static returned, stabbing through her head, causing her to inhale sharply and moan with pain. Bea sat beneath the bus stop in front of Mae. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here, you’re gonna be fine, Mae.”

Hearing Bea say her name calmed Mae, at least as much as she could be calmed in her current state. The shapes began to fade from her peripheral vision, the ground which she lay on slowly started to come into focus. Bea came into focus. Slowly, Mae gathered the strength to speak more. “I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t be fixed. Too fucked up.”

“You’re not fucked up, Mae. It’s alright.”

Mae slowly sat up and inched closer to Bea. The crocodile softly wrapped an arm around Mae, staying vigilant of any negative signals from her. Tears began to crawl down Mae’s cheeks, leaving a trail of wetness in her fur.

“It’s been so long. It happened again, I’m such a mess.” Mae’s speech began to clear even further as the shapes began to morph back to the objects they were.

“Mae, you aren’t a mess, I promise. You’ll get better at controlling it.”

Mae wiped her eyes. “Will I? No.”

“I promise you will, it just takes time.”

Mae’s eyes widened. Tears bundled at her eyes, but didn’t fall. The fur on the back of her neck stood up straight. “T-time? Eight months is time. Eight months I’ve spent trying to put my broken-ass psyche back together. Eight months I spent actually making progress, and now look at me!” Mae coughed.

Bea didn’t know what to say, she just wished that she could make all of Mae’s problems disappear at once. Silence hung between the two for a moment.

“You can do this, you're tough, Mae. It’s really windy out, do you want me to carry you to the car? It’s a short walk.”

Mae shivered and nodded. Bea leaned down and let Mae put an arm around her shoulder, Bea placing her arms beneath Mae’s back and legs. Bea huffed and heaved Mae up off of the footpath. The car was fairly close, but in a corner of the parking lot, tucked beneath a broken street lamp. “Are you okay to stand? Gotta open the door.”

“Yeah, I can manage.” The shapes had mostly, if not completely retreated by now, however Mae’s head still ached and small patches of numbness still persisted.

Bea let Mae down onto her feet and opened the door to the back seats. Mae was able to climb in themselves, however with a fair amount of difficulty. Bea climbed into the back seat with Mae, wrapping an arm around her. The two sat in silence for a while, Mae didn’t mind this, however. Simply being in Bea’s presence was good enough for her. Regardless, Mae was guilt stricken. Bea had skipped important work for this? To witness Mae’s progress since the mine incident crumble like it was nothing?

“I’m sorry I ruined your night. I’m a wreck. Couldn’t even keep myself in check for one night.”

Bea rubbed Mae’s shoulder. “You don’t have to apologise. You’re not any of that, it’s okay. Was it the shapes again?”

“Yeah. Real bad.” Mae mumbled.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Mae’s memory always checked out during these moments, as did her recognition of the passage of time. Nothing but a miserable blur was present in Mae’s memory of the night after Bea left. Only a handful of events were clear enough for her to describe. Mae inhaled. “I tried ordering from the barbecue place. I spent like three minutes in line, or maybe it was five. The dude at the counter tried to speak to me, but there was just, like, nothing... Everything and everyone started breaking into shapes. Then every now and then there were these like, screeches of static, then it’d go back to silence and… and… “

Mae tried to remember more of what happened, like she was trying to grab onto the memories. Fleeting and transient, they were long out of reach.

“Shhh, you don’t have to speak about it anymore if you don't want to.”

Mae grumbled. “Like, I don’t even know why it happened. I’ve literally been here before, and my shitty ass brain still decided-” Mae abruptly stopped.

“Nothing about you is ‘shitty’ or ‘broken,’ Mae.”

Mae’s tears returned, and soon she was sobbing again, head shaking and in her hands. She spoke almost inaudibly in the pauses between sobs. “I’m a fucking disaster, Bea. Just admit it already. You don’t have to pity me like this. I know what you really think of me.”

“God damn it, I’m not pitying you! Trust me.”

Mae raised her voice slightly, turning to face Bea. “Beabea, please just be honest with me. I can take it.”

That nickname again. Bea felt the same pang of anxiety and breathed in. “...Ugh, fine. You want me to be honest with you? Honest?!” Bea paused. “I’m in love with you, Maedae.”

Bea’s face was stern and dour, but a strong teal blush crept up onto her cheeks. Mae was simply dumbfounded, a similar blush on her face. “You… w-what?”

Bea took her arm off of Mae’s shoulder. “You heard. I love you.”

Mae couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had been so sure that Bea wouldn’t show any interest at all. Mae didn’t break eye contact, she was too busy swimming in those eyes - surrounded by smudged eyeshadow, courtesy of the rain - as the realisation that Bea reciprocated set in. This meant she wasn’t at all prepared when Bea held her face by the cheeks and pulled Mae in for a kiss. Completely thrown off initially, Mae quickly settled into it comfortably, savouring every millisecond they were connected. Mae’s arms fell onto Bea’s shoulders, Bea still holding Mae’s face. Eventually, their lips parted, both processing what had just happened.

“I…. I love you too, Beabea.”

Mae chuckled in an elated manner. “When I said “be honest” I wasn’t expecting- I already thought our friendship was on the rocks, I never thought you’d…?”

Bea did a passable job at keeping her serious face, but clearly she was fairly bashful. “God, yeah. I was hesitant for the same reason, really, I thought it’d eff things up.”

Mae buried her face into Bea’s dress, Bea stroking the fur on the back of her head. “I’m just… God, I’m so…”

Bea planted another kiss on the top of Mae’s head. “Talk later, Mae. We should probably just get home now. It’s getting pretty damn late, and you absolutely need some rest.”

Bea shifted to open the door and re-enter the driver’s seat, but Mae held on tight and stopped her. “Wait, can we just… stay like this for a bit?” Mae intended for the sentence to end there, but she blurted out more. “You make me feel so safe.”

Bea’s mouth twitched into a smile, wrapping her arms around Mae and rubbing her back. “Sure we can, you little dork.”

Mae mumbled an agreement into Bea’s dress.

~~~~~

Mae could barely remember what had happened at the food court. It was like it had been purged completely from her recollection, leaving nothing but an aching void in its place. Even the part where she had begun to calm down, or getting driven home was fairly fuzzy and impartial. Guilt began to creep onto her once more, but it quickly faded when she remembered where she was. Mae was in a bed, covered only with a thin quilt, the other blankets for the bed tossed aside. Soft rays of moonlight poured in from the window, blinds half covering it. Bea, who had Mae wrapped in a soft embrace from behind, noticed her sudden awareness. “What’s up? Is something the matter?”

The couple’s hands were interlocked tight beneath the covers. Mae squeezed Bea’s hand. “Naw, I was just thinking.”

Bea had a curious look. “What about?”

Mae paused. “Just, about tonight. It won’t leave my mind. I’m sorry.”

Bea raised the arm that was tucked around Mae and began to softly rub Mae’s head. “You don’t have to keep apologising for what happened, I promise you it’s absolutely okay. I don’t think any different of you.”

Mae unconsciously started to purr softly as Bea caressed her head. As much as she wanted to dispute that it was absolutely not okay, she laid it to rest. Mae rolled over to face Bea, laying her head against the crocodile’s chest. Mae didn’t know why, but it was soothing to listen to Bea’s breathing.

In. Out. In. Out.

Bea’s arm returned to its original spot. Mae nuzzled Bea’s forearm, purring. “So, what are we now? Are we just, like, really good friends? Or, like, are we… uh… “

Bea’s mouth fluttered into a grin for a second, whispering. “Girlfriends?”

Even though that was the answer she was hoping (and expecting) to hear, it still flustered Mae to hear Bea say it out loud. Mae hadn’t actually forgotten the word “girlfriend,” she just wanted to listen to Bea say it. Mae’s heart skipped multiple beats. She nuzzled her cheek up against the end of her girlfriend's snout. “Yeah. That word.”

Bea returned with a few nuzzles of her own, kissing Mae on the nose. “Well, I’d sure hope so, Maedae.”

Mae squeezed Bea’s hand again. “Great. Then this is our official girlfriend-ening ceremony.”

Bea snorted. “Sure, it can be that.”

Mae didn’t answer, instead just snuggling closer to Bea. Mae wasn’t sure if she still believed in Heaven ever since she was a teenager, but if it was real, this had to be pretty damn near to it. Mae’s thoughts were calm and serene, something she hadn’t experienced in what felt like forever. Bea was completely at ease, the usual exhaustion coming at the night hours nowhere to be seen. Mae took her head off of Bea’s chest, resting her head next to her girlfriend’s. “Hey, Bea.”

Bea hummed to indicate she was listening.

Mae unlocked her hand from Bea’s, reaching forward and holding onto one of the scales on the back of her head. “I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for the shit you’ve done for me.” Throughout the night, Mae found it difficult to articulate properly, but it all seemed to flow so naturally all of a sudden. It was a strange feeling, like the fog that had persistently clouded her thought process just vanished. “You keep me so grounded, you keep me so secure. I don’t ever want to imagine what it’d be like without having you beside me. You aren’t just home enough, you’re more than home. It’s indescribable. I really love you, Beabea.”

“I love you too, Maedae.” Bea placed a long kiss on Mae’s lips. “I’ve gotta say, you make rotting in Possum Springs so much more bearable.”

Mae grinned. “Hey, if you’re gonna be stuck here, we might as well make it as enjoyable as possible. No use wasting away without a bit of fun.”

Bea smiled at Mae's attempt to lighten her situation. Instead of the smile deteriorating as quickly as it arrived, it hung on her face for a few moments. “Amen to that.”

“See! I’ve said it many times before, I’m good to have around!”

Bea’s half-open laptop unexpectedly pinged with the sound of a messenger notification before she could answer the cat. She had retrieved it from the Party Barn when the two arrived back home. Bea let go of Mae, sat up and woke the screen. She checked her inbox, a new message from Gregg.

\-------------------------------------------

\- hey bea did you hang with mae after we left.  
shes not answering my messages

Yeah I did. Don’t worry, she’s safe. -

\- well yea i assumed that but like where is she  
dude!!

She’s with me, actually. Sitting right next to me -  
as we speak.

\- oh really??? wow you guys have a sleepover the  
day we leave. you trying to say something

Don’t worry, we’ll crash at Bright Harbour -  
sometime if it makes you feel better.

\- that would make me feel better actually. why is  
she actually at urs tho did something happen

You don’t believe that we’re just hanging out? -

\- at ur place right after we left? no not really

Well you’d be right. -

\- quit beating around the bush!! what happened

It’s a long story, with a super twist ending. I’ll -  
fill you in in the morning. I’m exhausted.

\- fine. keep ur secrets. ill figure them out soon  
enough

I’m sure you will, Gregg. Night. -

night bea. if ur reading this night mae

\-------------------------------------------

Mae smiled to herself as she read the messages. “Y’know, pretty nice that he asked you about my whereabouts, actually.”

Bea shut the laptop, placing it back to the side of her bed, rubbed her eyes and yawned. “Yeah. I see that.”

“What’s the first thing you think he’ll say when he finds out?”

Bea paused for a second. “I’m not sure. Can’t wait to hear it, though. He’ll probably pull some ‘I knew it!’ crap when he’s actually completely shocked.”

Having answered Gregg, the two crawled back into bed. Bea took Mae’s hand back in hers, squeezed it and pulled Mae in closer to her. “Should probably go to bed now, you need that rest badly.”

Mae placed her head back onto Bea’s chest and hummed. She listened back in to Bea’s breathing.

“Night, Maedae.”

“G’night, Beabea.”

The two drifted asleep, embraced and fulfilled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the read! My writing itch for MaeBea is far from quenched so I'll probably write some more stuff in the time to come. Hopefully this was a decent read, also sorry for the incessant use of the italics lmao


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